Jon’s Stone-Cold Quarantine Cop List: 14th Edition
Written by on September 14, 2021
I’ve run out of fun intros for the cop list features, so let’s just go with what’s up y’all—back again with the latest and greatest to get your spirits lifted out of the dumps of whatever the hell dystopian future we’re living in. Seriously, have y’all been feeling this dark cloud, too? Feels like the last few months, it’s been a chore to try and get that serotonin in, but never fear—new drugs ALWAYS help! (For the five of y’all that will get mad at me for calling weed drugs, I’m sorry, but it’s fun.) Let’s get you laced up.
Although we’ve already run 13 of these cop list features, number 14 has a surprising number of firsts—ALL of which are worthy of your attention and adoration. We’ve got new experiences, new flavors, and even home goods—since, vaxxed or not, you’re likely still spending a great deal of time at home. Oh well, while the world burns, the industry moves forward—c’est la vie! As per usual, I’m always hungry for more, so don’t hesitate to drop me a line when you find something that excites you—I’m here for it!
Cop List #14:
It’s rare I include an extractor in this list, but I couldn’t let this discovery pass up without a mention. While there’s a lot of excellent work being done in labs right now, few are focused on creating an EXPERIENCE out of dabbing—save, of course, the product guys.
That said, Holy Water is definitely worth delving into if you’re interested in the art of extraction. With split containers that hold two different types of small batch craft extracts, sometimes half is Live Rosin and half is BHO Badder, and other times, they’re splitting diamonds on one side and their ‘holy water’ sauce on the other.
And, in case you needed another reason to check them out, these guys just took home the crown at our most recent NorCal Cannabis Cup with their Pina Açaí UNHOLY collaboration with Grandiflora. This ain’t just my praise; they’re winning trophies.
A new supergroup has officially hit the scene. Comprised of expert breeder Deep East, seasoned exotic producer Wizard Trees and Joey Colombo, the currency artist behind Money Trees, the Cookies’ Cheetah Piss design and much more, the new brand Avant has hit the legal market with its first proprietary genetics, dubbed ‘123’ after its pheno number from the hunt in true head fashion.
Another first-at-Cookies drop, and crossed with one of the hottest cultivars of 2020, RS-11, this Sherb BX1 cross is a heater. With dark nugs that will surely turn on the purp fiends, in true Wizard Trees fashion, this is some of the cleanest smoke on the market. Expect a nice white ash and your head in the clouds.
I’ll admit, I kinda slept on this one. The brand was founded at least in part by Marshawn Lynch, and while I 100 percent know dude smokes heavy, you know how it can be with celebrity brands … you just never know if it’s just a cash grab. Well, friends, allow this to serve as my official ‘I was wrong on this’ statement—Dodi’s blunts smack!
Aiming to provide a smoke that’s ‘always right for an afternoon of watching football or playing Madden’, Dodi’s diamond-infused tobacco-free blunts ARE a great afternoon smoke that will take you way up without putting you out, if you’re a seasoned vet. Capable of chilling Beast Mode, it’s worth noting that this definitely isn’t an entry-level product—this one had me couch-locked, so while I’m not questioning your tolerance, I would encourage football fans new to the giggle bush to hit light and slow.
Courtesy of Kapow Berries
This one’s not easy to procure, but if you’ve got the plug, don’t sleep… I have a feeling these guys are going to be bubbling to the surface more and more the next few months and years. The White Berries is the latest release from the Berries family, and boy is it clear from the nose that these plants were properly cared for.
I’m told these guys are super small batch, adding to the exclusive allure, but in true traditional fashion, you can grab your Berries by the seven, which is a quantity much more manageable for us lifers than the 3.5s that have somehow become the norm. Keep an eye out at local events across CA, or at designer events across the country, and I’m sure you’ll hear the legend of Kapow before long.
I’ll be honest, I was really scratching my head about these at first. I’ve been down for prawn crackers in the past at restaurants, but the bagged snacks never really interested me, so when I saw these naturally I thought, ‘Oh, that’s cool for other people,’ as I understand the allure this snack has, especially abroad, but, ‘not for me.’
Well, sports fans, you know how they say you should just try it? Turns out they’re right sometimes because it seems I actually really like these Potli jawns. Upon further investigation, it seems the market does, too, because these things have been flying off the shelf. If you’re like me, and are over the sweet edibles that seem to be the current market leaders, grab a bag of these low dose delights. You may not feel the high (only 11mg per package, 0.7mg per chip), but your tastebuds will thank you for the new flavonoids!
I know at this point I’m a Cure Co stan, but trust me, go try the Biscotti Fritz. The taste of this smoke is the best I’ve had this year, by far. So good, in fact, it’s got my ass driving across LA to cop more on the regular, and I’m not one who leaves home often let alone goes out during traffic hours.
I promise I will try not to repeat entries on here or give too much love to any one brand but truuuust, you want this. Even if you don’t think you do, even if you’re not a Biscotti fan, even if you’re like, ‘Oh they must be paying him’—they’re not and you will be, you do. I take these lists seriously—many people are very mad at me that I haven’t included them or their products here—but I will still 10 times out of 10 put the products I believe you need to see and try because I love you, and I want you smoking the best.
The jewelry design genius behind some of the most iconic chains in the world has officially entered the industry. It’s worth noting, as this is a celeb launch that my homie and seasoned lifer Joel (Designer Weed) is the guy who helped set them up, so I was immediately more confident in this brand than most celebrity-founded ventures, but here’s another salute (two in one post!) to a celebrity brand doing it right from the get go.
It’s not surprising that Ben Baller, a man who made a career off of high-end luxury products, has come to market with some tops, but these buds are stand-out even compared to legacy brands, which never happens with celeb plays. Coming to market with Cat Dicc (lol) and Jonas B, already available at dispo’s across the state, both of these packs belong on your top shelf.
So I don’t think this one actually gets you high, but these are candles that not only smell incredible—they actually make special ones that have a THC count! Sometimes infused with THCa diamonds, real buds, crystals, dried flowers and more, Heirloom Rituals also make regular, beautiful candles for your normie friends, but honestly, when else are you going to get the chance to have a weed candle? Or sneak weed into your normie friends’ houses and have it end up on their mantle?? I might even send one to my mom.
I just got mine a few weeks back, and it smells so good just sitting there, I honestly haven’t even felt inclined to light it yet, but I’m going to have to hotbox a room with it and find out if it will get you high, one day, for science. Or at least before I start giving them out as holiday gifts … or, actually …
Y’all know how low-dose products affect me, but I’m definitely a fan of Cann’s new Passion Peach Mate flavor. Now combining caffeine with low doses of cannabis in their beverages, this flavor is, in my opinion, the brand truly living up to the “social tonic” tagline it’s coined.
Providing a buzz that only brings you up, this is the mocktail the space has been waiting for. Delicious, light, and packing a nice energetic kick, without trying too hard to be different, I definitely see this becoming a staple behind the bar at industry events going forward, and eventually, once regulations change, at actual bars as well.
I’m not 100 percent sure if these have hit shelves just yet, but they’re on their way, and I have a feeling the new papers from the Vibes team are going to be crowd-pleasers. Leaving behind the traditional cone and moving toward the bigger, cylindrical cigarette shape, the new Cali tubes have already become a staple in my routine.
While I’ve always loved rolling my own, it’s been more about ensuring a consistent smoke over the pleasure of an added task to complete. The new Cali tubes alleviate much of the frustration I’ve found from pre-wrapped cones in the past—these pack easy; they stay lit, and they smoke evenly—what more could you ask for? It’s also worth noting that they come sized by the gram, so packing up one, two or three grams for a session is as easy as picking the size you want, as opposed to eyeballing or weighing out how much you’re about to, or would like to, consume.
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